Part 2….A couple Moves in together who should pay the rent?
Personally, I would like to say that I prefer the 50/50 idea because it shows two people trying to be equal and share responsibilities equally. However, in the perfect world (my world that is), I love when a man takes care of the “big things” i.e. bills, family needs etc while the woman takes care of the home-end and cover things like groceries and stuff that the kids need etc. I am saying this because that’s how I grew up. I saw my father working hard and taking care of everything while my mother was a stay at home mom. Nonetheless, she was still independent in her own way. She did small businesses here and there and she made good enough money for herself and helped took care of things when my father came short. And, I believe, most women did the same back in the day because thats what the culture was like then. Men felt proud taking care of the family!! I don’t know if that’s still how things are today though because a lot has changed over the years and cultures have changed as well due to Western life invasion.
I learned to take care of myself and became independent at a very young age. All because I went to boarding schools since I was 10 yrs old then I went to college after that, very far from home in another country where once again, I was on my own and had to wear the BIG GIRL PANTS. Trust me, it did not end there. For years while I was married, I was the main provider and when my marriage dissolved, and I became a single mother, I had to make sure my son and I were good. So, for so long I have been providing for myself and I guess because of that, I really haven’t known what it’s like to be taken care of or have another person handle everything for me. It would be nice though to have that kind of privilege, although because of the type of person I am, I wont sit and wait for it LOL 🙂
Having said all that, you can see why I choose the 50/50 answer on the question. It’s easier for me to feel not dependent of anyone. Also, I don’t like nobody telling me what I can do and not do with my money and I vise versa, I can’t see myself telling anyone how they ought to spend/use their money. As long as the bills bucket is taken care of equally, I would care less what the other person does with their extra change. Now, if we have established goals which will benefit both of us and in order to do so, we both have to participate in dumping money in one savings account, then heck yea, I am all down for that even if it means I have to pay a little more than my partner because maybe I make more?.
Some people might say, well, doing it 50/50 can make a couple not be able to grow and establish bigger goals. Well, my come back is always, this is what I bring to the table, what do you bring? Then I prefer going from there. Life has changed so much that it feels like so many people, both men and women are looking for somebody to “save” them. It’s not a bad thing to wanna be saved but personally, I wont do it for so many reasons. First, I feel like, I would be handling all my power to another person and pretty much allowing them to “mute” me. I feel like whenever you are in a relationship and only one person is working so hard to provide, and the other is just chilling waiting to be handled the hard gained money, best believe somehow that “waiting to be handled person” is gonna have to pay back something the hard way. It’s like selling your soul to the devil and expect no consequences.
In the end though, if I were to choose what would work best for me now that I know what life is like and of course being independent is a beautiful thing and makes me feel so powerful however, the downfall is that, you become exhausted. But then again, between having a peace of mind, calmness and having a man who can provide but creates a lot of stress, I chose me and having a peace of mind. I would prefer a gentleman taking care of me in every kind of way. It’s what MEN are designed to do and as a woman, I feel, by a man doing so, it’s fair for me as a woman to be submissive and more understanding because it just works that way.
I think EQUALITY is a wonderful thing but boi, it comes with a whole lot other things!! I find it crazy when women in power tell other women “dont settle for less” BUT forget to also address what it really means to “not settle for less.” What I believe we need to do as women and as mothers is to actually teach “young girls” to work hard and always bring something to the table before they set high EXPECTATIONS of men. I feel that sometimes feeling too powerful or independent can limit a woman from being loved right by a man. I dont know.
These are personal opinions. I would love to your thoughts? Comment below!!